Dear Love

"I'm Not Sure Yet" by Shanna T. Melton 2004

We wrote Letters to Love during our February 10, 2018 gathering of The Writer's Group. I brought prompts into the group and beautiful declarations of appreciation, disappointments, visions and more were poured into this feeling. We told love just some of the things that it should know.

The two prompts that I chose for my writing included...

"Dear Love, I thought you would be... However..." & "I was inspired when you..."

If you are inspired to write letters to love you should do so and you are welcome to share in the comments.

The following is my Letter to Love.

Dear Love,

I thought you would be mine. I thought, like clay, you would be pliable. That you would bend and twist like clay into what I think i need. I wanted you to be something that I could use to fill my hollow places. As a human, I am arrogant enough to personify you. To believe that you would wrap yourself around me and protect me from anyone who would cause me pain.

However, the only thing you seem to do is take the blame. I am the one bending and twisting. You push me into hollow places and it is often against my will. You've sacrificed me for the comfort of other people. You've allowed me to crash, bleed, break and feel abandoned over and again. You've been tough on me. That has made me angry. I've been envious of others who seem to have soft places they can rely on constantly. With all of this I still want the beauty and peace of you. Even when I say that you may not be mine, I can't submit to not having you in my life.

I was inspired when you gave me empathy. How it randomly rises up full and ready to absorb the depth of feeling that exists in the world. Like when a friend who was deep in the muddle of devastation over you asked, "Why can't I just stop loving him?" I replied saying that if she could, then she would have missed out on loving deeply. You are majestic in how you can be a cave we want to explore which too often becomes a hole we are climbing our way out of. Either way, the power over our journey depends heavily upon how we maneuver through you. It probably does hurt you to see us in pain and calm you to know the lesson on the other side of the pain. How you pray that we fight for the lesson.

My truth is that I am surrounded by love and it is poured into me constantly. While I do not take it for granted, I also do not acknowledge it as often as I should. Sometimes I miss it until down the road on my journey when I am reminded by a similar deed or conversation that you were there the entire time. Like most humans, I set my sights on one form of you at the expense of all the other ways that you cover my life. I often regret not seeing you sooner and hope that I don't miss you before you leave. I have let the damage caused by others change the way I exude the beam of you. Still, you are so deep and filling inside of my heart that most don't even realize that I am sharing you sparingly.

Thank you for being merciful and forgiving. Thank you for never actually leaving, but recognizing that you need to exist differently in my experience. Thank you for being a barrier between myself and hate. Thank you for connecting me to the most meaningful people in my life. Thank you for giving those people the will to show up with the fullness of who they are and share the gift of you. Thank you for being all that you are and your willingness to sustain us humans who do not trust you enough but seek you anyway. Thank you for knowing that I will always have reasons to thank you because you are the soft place that I can rely on constantly.

With Sincere Love & Gratitude,

Shanna T. Melton

(The next gatherings of The Writer's Group are on March 3rd & 10th, 2018 from 2pm-4pm at City Lights Gallery, 265 Golden Hill St., Bridgeport, CT. Dates are updated monthly on and heavily promoted on Facebook. The above painting "I'm Not Sure Yet" was stolen many years ago and hopefully exists in a loving home where someone needed it more than I needed to be compensated for it. See, that is mercy and love)

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